Caltech Transfer Requirements

Dear MIT Class of 2022,

We realize that many of you have had the unfortunate experience of being admitted to a different Institute of Technology than you would have preferred. We decided to provide the transfer requirements for the Hotter Institute of Technology here, for reference as you move forward with your "academic" career in the 2018-19 "school" year.

1. GPA of 7.0
2. Already has acquired three graduate degrees, at least one of which is from Caltech
3. Must be at least 7’8”
4. At least one Olympic medal 
5. Is able to tell, at sight, the difference between a California and Massachusetts beaver.
6. Must be able to speak fluent Castor canadensis, Greek, Bee, Latin, Swahili, Uzbek, and three Bantu dialects.
7. Champion in at least two of the following:
1. Chess Olympiad
2. Juggling
3. Telekinesis
4. International Chemistry Olympiad
8. At least one Nobel Prize nomination
9. Has successfully cured cancer
10. Has published research at CERN, LIGO, and has won a Fields Medal
11. Has taught Machine Learning in Guyana for a month
12. Has served (at least) 20 years in the Peace Corps
13. Must be able to rap the entirety of Hamilton (bonus points for rapping that one part of Eminem's God of Rap)
14. Can survive 4 minutes without air, 4 days without water, and 4 weeks without food
15. Must be able to lick their elbow